Talking with girls is by far the MOST important key to attracting women. This is because it doesn’t matter:
- How good looking you are
- How much money you have
- How good your pickup line is
Talking to women is how you will actually attract women and differentiate yourself from every other guy. You will be seen as different and special, if you can have a good conversation with a girl. It also will make her feel a connection with you, this is essential for intimacy.
So let’s get down to it; you have already introduced yourself to her and exchanged names. How do you start a conversation with a girl?
I typically will ask
1. Where are you from?
2. What do you do for work?
3. Are you in school?
Then I will take her answers and ask follow up questions. Then I will answer my own questions and tell her about myself.
You: So are you from here?
Her: Yes, lived her all my life
You: Is your family in the area?
Her: My parents are here, but my sister lives in Colorado
You: O, that’s cool. Have you been out to visit her?
Her: Yea, I love it out there.
You: You are a big skier then?
Her: Yup ever since I was 8 years old
You: That’s awesome; I just moved here from NY. My older brother is still up there and will probably stay because his wife’s family is all up there. I love to ski but am horrible! Is that your older sister in Colorado?
You: Is she married? Children?
Hey: No, but has a pretty serious boyfriend
You: Are you too close?
Her: Yea we are really close
You: Have you ever considered moving out there to be closer to her?
Her: A little, but the rest of my family is here and it would be easier if she just came back.
You: Do you have any other siblings?
Her: Yes, I have a little brother who is in Middle School.
You: Are you two close?
Her: Yea, but he is kind of going through that phase where his friends are the most important thing in the world and he can be very bratty!
You: haha, don’t we all go through that phase. I have two nieces who are the best thing since sliced bread but they are in that phase too. So then you went to ______ University?
Her: Yea, I still go
You: What is your major?
Her: Political Science
You: So then what do you want to be when you grow up?
Her: I want to go to Law School and practice family court law
You: That is awesome, have you done an internship or know anyone in the profession
You: What makes you want to practice that sort of law?
Her: I want to help kids and protect them from shitty parents
You: Yea, I can see how that would be a very rewarding job but at times I think it could be kind of depressing. Like when a shitty / abusive parent wins custody of their kid, or when kids are dragged into the middle of a divorce.
Her: That is actually the reason I want to do it. My parents got separated and dragged my sister and me into the middle of it.
You: Yea, I understand how that is tough on kids. My parents got separated but I was like 20 and had been expecting it for years. Divorce happens to everyone my mom is a clinical therapist and my dad is a minister, not the people you would think would get a divorcee. So are you going to stay at ______ Univ for law school?
Do You See
Do you see how one question “Are you from here” becomes a conversation? When you ask a girl questions you are showing an interest in her. And then by asking her follow up questions you are showing you are listening to her. This will almost guarantee that you will get a girl to like you.
Also when you talk to someone 97% of time they will answer your question but provide you with material for further questions and conversation topics.
For example, when the topic about her sister and living in Colorado is over you can ask her about the coolest place she has been or where if she could go anywhere where would it be.
Or you can ask more questions about skiing; if she ever did it competitively, if she has ever been to ______ because you went there once and it was awesome, or if she would ever considering doing it as a career.
Or how you think downhill skiing in the Olympics is the coolest thing. The point is when you talk to someone they give you so much more material for conversation.
Listen to them and their answers because if you can talk to her about what she is interested in and enjoys talking about. She will really enjoy the conversation and that will dramatically improve your ability to get girls, you want to date.
This also works because as she is sharing things about herself you are sharing things about yourself. This way she feels like she is getting to know you and that you are getting to know her, for example when you told her about your parents getting a divorce.
People like to talk about themselves, so ask her about herself. To prevent them from feeling like they are being interviewed, answer your own questions and share parts of your life without being asked.
Sometimes girls will actually ask you questions after a little bit. However don’t be discouraged if this is a rare because most people including women simply haven’t learned how to be charismatic with people especially when they first meet them.
When I was younger I moved around a lot and ended up going to 5 different high schools. I was often the new kid that didn’t have any friends or anyone to sit with at lunch; however this forced me to become outgoing and to meet people. I was forced to learn these skills for survival.
It is learning how to communicate with new people and build friendships with complete strangers. Finding common grounds to talk on, for example if she tells you about skiing and you have been skiing your whole life.
This is a good topic of conversation.
Skiing is just an example. However to find these common grounds it requires you to ask her questions and share things in your life. It does get a lot lot lot easier and you will become comfortable doing this with people, both women and men that you have never meet before.
I also want you to know that the VAST MAJORITY of people are 100% totally open to meeting new people, disregarding any level of attraction. Almost everyone is open to having a good conversation with another person.
When you talk to people they will often share things that they are passionate about in the example above her studying to become a family court attorney. You must listen to the responses of questions and ask follow up questions on things she might be interested in.
All you are really doing is showing an interest in her and listening to her. I think this is what the vast majority of people everywhere want in a partner, someone that listens to them and sees them and has good conversation with them. This really is powerful stuff, and will enable you to succeed with sexy women everywhere.
I think the reason you see women with ‘less than quality guys’ that treat them like poorly is because no one ever showed a genuine interest in them.
It also helps too if you are positive and up beat. In the above example how I said it is cool that her sister lives in Colorado or that it is awesome that she is going to go to Law School.
This shows her that you are a positive person. Frequently people with those characteristics are popular and well liked. You rarely see miserable people having very many friends and this is because they are miserable.
For example, if I had responded with something like: yea you will have a lot of money if you’re an attorney, or I went to Colorado and hated it.
It’s OK to disagree with women or tell them about things you don’t like. But if you are negative it will not help your chances of picking up girls.
I have meet some very pretty women and after a few minutes of conversation just told them it was nice talking to them and not ask for her phone number. Some people are just downers; instead you should try to lift people up. Be excited about her life.
The fact is being a Lawyer is the last thing I want to do, but for some people it is a good fit, further good for her if she has an idea of what she wants’ to do with her life. You expressed the down side of being a family court lawyer (seeing shoddy parents get custody) without being negative or a Debbie downer.
It’s important to have a personality of your own and you can outright disagree with a girl or call her crazy and still flirt with women. Because you are showing that you are your own person and have thoughts for yourself, but be upbeat and positive and optimistic when you do.
When you meet a Debbie Downer try to tell her that things could be worse for any one of the things she wants to complain about to you and I guarantee that she will not agree with you.
If she does then give her the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to the fact that she could just be having a really bad day and show some compassion. Just realize that some people are downers and have no desire to look at the brighter side of life.
These are the people we often hear complaining about life. I don’t know one good thing that has come from complaining. Also it doesn’t make people think highly of you if the first thing you have to share with them is a complaint about something or someone.
Life is short and you don’t want to spend your time with one of these people. They are infectious with their negativity and that may have been cool in grade school but not in life. Additionally rarely will people when you meet them tell you about how terrible their life is.
However it is important to show compassion when meeting women, they maybe just having a bad day, especially if it is someone you are having a second or twentieth conversation with. I typically do this by saying “I am sorry that happened or yea, that does suck”
The most important thing is to realize that everyone is willing to talk to someone and most people are actually looking for new better friends but don’t know how to go about meeting people.
Sign up below for more dating advice for men to finally date the women you really deserve. You can also grab books by Willis Combs including “How To Find the Right Girlfriend and Without Being an A**hole” at Amazon, iTunes, BarnesandNoble.com, and more.